Even if U aren't destined to be TV ORACLE©, that doesn't mean U can't be TV enlightened!

At OracleHaus© we offer all U need to get started on the road toward personal television enlightenment. Anyone can channel some television messages given the right state of mind, and the simple belief that the television is much more than just a simple electrical appliance.

For instance, have U ever changed channels and found that every channel U turned to was talking about the same issue or event. At OracleHaus we call that Th(m)eme Mapping©. And we teach U how to harness the powers of the remote control to reveal otherwise invisible stories inside Ur television. Like reading between the lines in Ur book, reading between the channels in Ur television can offer U insight into where U are at that day, and what may be in store for U. It can also tap U into what the collective culture is thinking: as U process the small tv clips with Ur remote, U are at once taken out of whatever sitcom U were watching, and brought to a kind of meta-plane where the tv messages become short, sweet, syncopated clips, a remix as it were, which offers the big picture message of what we are all thinking and watching, the meta-cultural perspective. But Th(m)eme Mapping is only one of the many useful seminars that we will give U over the course of the retreat, so sign up early in order to get Ur first choice!

TV ORACLE© will also come out from behind the screen, and be there in the flesh to share her experiences as the oracle among oracles. U'll get firsthand tips including tv meditation techniques, the tv oracle diet, and how to juggle life as a TV channeler. TV ORACLE will also share with U some of her personal history: from her tumultous childhood in Texas, to her struggles as a young woman in New York City as an up-and-coming handmodel.

The grounds of OracleHaus are also out-of-this-world, offering the best in both comfort and elegance. Get enlightened in style! Indulge Urself at the ILUVU.TV spa, kick-back at the Venetian-inspired swimming pool, or take in a game of golf on the ILUVU.TV 3-acre course. TVTown©, A full-service restaurant is also right on the premises, offering 5-star meals for brunch, lunch, and dinner, plus a continental breakfast for the early riser.

So don't delay, be a visionary for the 21st century starting today! To receive our information kit, please email with Ur address, and write "TVME" in the Subject line to receive our brochure, rates, and application materials.