BASIC U FACTS
First Name
Last Name
Email
Social Security Number
Mother's Maiden Name
Date of Birth (00/00/00)

What are Ur favorite TV shows?

Favorite Pop songs?

Favorite movies?

What is something U've never told anyone for fear of being scorned?

MORE ABOUT U
Do U hide things from others regularly?
Yes
No
Do U want people to like U?
Yes
No
Are U ticklish?
Yes
No
If U were a shoe, U'd be:
A flip-flop
A tennis shoe
A strappy sandal
A combat boot

Which teen pop diva did an eye-popping pseudo striptease at the MTV Video Music Awards?
Jessica Simpson
Christina Aguilera
Britney Spears
Mandy Moore

Which teen pop diva deep-kissed Madonna?
Jessica Simpson
Christina Aguilera
Britney Spears
Mandy Moore

Which is the correct line from Punky Brewster's themesong?
Maybe the world is blind, or just a little unkind. Donít know.
Maybe I'm a little small, but damn do I got big big balls.

Which of these is not a song by controversial rapper Eminem?
"The Real Slim Shady"
"My Name Is"
"Protect Ya Neck"
"The Way I Am"
Which of the following best describes Ur dancing style?
Rock 'em, sock 'em robot
I stand still but bob my head to the tunes
I'm the classic ballroom type
I just bob to the music free form
Ur voice is:
Quiet and breathy
Low and raspy
Cute and perky
Deep and soulful

If U were all alone on an island with a pharmaceutical, which would U choose?
Zyrtec
Soma
Ultram
Nexium

Which anti-depressant are U most like?
Paxil
Zoloft
Prozac
Wellbutrin

Which is better?
Winning the lottery
Winning the love of Ur life

I am attracted to:
The opposite sex exclusively
Mostly the opposite sex
I'm equally attracted to both of the sexes
Mostly the same sex
The same sex exclusively
When under stress, I'm most likely to:
Eat
Drink
Bite my nails
Smoke
Exercise
Use some other vice
Sit peacefully until it passes
The penis is a symbol of power and domination.
Strongly agree
Agree
Disagree
Strongly disagree
I like situations that need some real thinking.
Strongly agree
Agree
Disagree
Strongly disagree
I learn about what is going on in the world from:
Fox TV
E!
NPR
BBC
Reuters
Democracy Now
My friends
Other

Overall, I think the American government is doing a good job.
Strongly agree
Agree
Disagree
Strongly disagree

People have told me that I:
Should be a therapist
Am a pretty good listener
Could stand to be a better listener
Must have some kind of hearing damage
I sometimes hurt people just for fun.
Strongly agree
Agree
Disagree
Strongly disagree
If U owned more things, would U be happier?
Definitely
Possibly
I don't think so
I'm a minimalist
Sometimes it's worth it to lose a little dignity in order to gain a lot of money.
Strongly agree
Agree
Disagree
Strongly disagree
I often have premonitions that come true.
Strongly agree
Agree
Disagree
Strongly disagree
We are more than our physical bodies.
Strongly agree
Agree
Disagree
Strongly disagree
No person or situation will be exactly the same tomorrow as it is today.
Strongly agree
Agree
Disagree
Strongly disagree
Do U believe in destiny?
Yes, I'm a true believer
Sometimes, but generally I take things as they come
No, not really
No, I believe only in chaos and random chance
Are U ever psychic?
Yes, I am always culling the depths of other human beings
Only when I'm on the rag.
I'm more psycho than psychic.
No, never.
Do U shock easily, e.g. conduct electricity well?
Yes, I conduct electricity very well, especially right after a shower.
Sometimes, moreso when I had braces than now.
No, I've got a good skin buffer between me and live wires.
Strongly disagree
Overall, would U say U're satisfied with Urself?
Like a Snickers bar
Pretty satisfied
Not too satisfied
Not at all

The one true God is?
Buddha
Jesus
Krishna
Hashem
All of the above
None of the above

RORSCHACH U
Look for eyes in this inkblot. What are they doing?
Staring straight at me
Looking up
Crying
Searching
Nothing
I can't see eyes in the inkblot
Was it unpleasant to look at this inkblot?
Definitely unpleasant
Somewhat unpleasant
Neutral
Pleasant
Which of the following choices most closely resembles what U saw in this inkblot?
A monster or alien
A superhero
A male or female figure
A part-human, part-animal
A mixture of two different non-human animal species
A bug (bee, fly, moth, etc.)
A wizard or witch
An angel
A gargoyle
A boyman
None of the above

Which of these choices most closely captures the emotional impact of the inkblot?
Happiness, joy, hope, positivity, or excitement
Calmness or serenity
Fear, disgust, terror, or feeling threatened
Curiosity, interest, or provoking thought
Turmoil, confusion, despair, gloom, or feeling trapped

Which of the following can U most easily see in this inkblot?
A robot
Unicorns
A pelvic bone
The female reproductive system
Shadows of people
A woman who is part machine and part human
Imagine that the inkblot is really a picture of a butterfly. Of the following options, which best summarizes the butterfly's nature?
Kind
Cruel
Indifferent
Did U see anything sexual in this inkblot?
Yes
Maybe
No
Is this inkblot more masculine or feminine?
Masculine
Feminine
Neither
Were there parts of this inkblot U had to ignore in order to make sense of it?
Yes, lots
Several parts
One or two small parts
I used all the parts to form my primary impression
Does this inkblot seem like it's:
Ancient or from the past
Contemporary
Futuristic, or occurring in the future
I don't know
None of the above
Of the following, what was the thing U saw most clearly in this inkblot?
A dragon or monster
A mask
A person
A clown
A mountain
A spider
A crab
A two-headed man
A part or parts of a face (e.g., teeth)
A simulation
A frog
A skull
Some other animal
None of the above
Did U see anything involving aliens or outer-space vehicles in this inkblot?
Yes
Maybe
No

Do U like dealing with new and unusual situations?
Love it
Like it
Not too fond of it
Hate it

Upload an attractive picture of Urself.

Jpg or gif file. Less than 100K.

On submission of this application U will receive an immediate personality assessment, information about our summer retreats, and a signed picture of TV Oracle 2008©.

Please choose the picture U would like to receive below:
Screenal Whispers
Oral Obfuscation
Multi MeMEssage
Data-Driven Diva